I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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