no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
