I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I supernannyed him into submission
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
