so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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