Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
