you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
