you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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