i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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