Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my shit smells like andre
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
