No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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