what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize