Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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