She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
