What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Who died my cat blue again?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
