And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize