Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
