Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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