Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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