In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize