he shaved USA in his pubs
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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