Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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