Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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