When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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