I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize