just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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