So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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