at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
