Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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