I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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