This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i out mim tonsoeep
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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