This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
