How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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