phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She bit a glass in half.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize