i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Houston, we have a squirter
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
