This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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