It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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