It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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