now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Found your dick twin last night
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
