He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
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I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
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He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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