weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
