Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
