I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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