This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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