I accidentally burped into my bong.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
