thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
