I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?