Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You pole danced in your parka.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.