ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize