I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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