Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
