Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize