so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
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It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
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ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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