I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
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Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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