New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
