Having a random hookup so left but love u
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
