I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
