wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
