I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize