I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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