so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
