My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
