also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
