Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
