ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
