Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
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I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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