So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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