she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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