Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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