just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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